Who are the Hands and Feet of Jesus? Reconstructing our Finances

 I wrote this post on the Blue Sky app recently: 

Why We Chose to Give Differently

For many years, my husband and I have considered how to live out our faith in a way that feels honest, intentional, and aligned with our values. Over the years, we faithfully put aside a large sum of money and donated it to the church we attended. Lately, we have not been tied to any one specific church so that has not been happening. 

We are not currently tied to a local church community. That is mostly because I have a sleep disorder that interferes with me doing morning appointments that includes church attendance on a Sunday morning. Secondly, church at our age became repetitive, production-like, and not heartfelt. 

The absence of institutional church attendance didn’t erase our desire to be generous—it sharpened it. Instead of defaulting to a single destination for our giving, we chose to be more attentive to where our resources could make a tangible difference.

Our Approach to Giving

Rather than directing our tithes to a church we don’t actively participate in, we set aside our giving intentionally and direct it toward local charities and community organizations.

We look for groups that:

• serve people directly and practically

• address real, visible needs in our community

• operate with transparency and care

• align with values of compassion, dignity, and justice

Food programs. Support services. Crisis relief. Community-based care.

This wasn't about withholding money from the church. It was about responding to a need where we could see it, trust it, and feel good about donating.

A Matter of Conscience, Not Convenience

This decision wasn’t made casually.

We reflected, prayed, and talked it through. We asked ourselves:

• Are we giving thoughtfully?

• Are we being generous, not minimal?

• Are we keeping our hearts open, not just our wallets?

For us, giving has become less about obligation and more about responsibility and follow-through.

Did we give to churches? Yes. We chose two to give one-time or two-time donations to. We also gave to the Food Bank, Humane Societies, Community Support Connections, a local Chaplain to the Homeless, Hashtag Hope, Red Cross Winnipeg Fire Relief, and more. 

Over time, I have also left food stuffs in the pantry at the church I go to for gentle gym classes. They put three items a day outdoors in their Little Pantry. 

Photo: Google Images

Faith in Action Looks Different in Different Seasons

There are seasons when giving through a church makes deep sense. There are seasons when it doesn’t.

We believe faith is meant to be lived—not only within walls, but in neighborhoods, communities, and quiet acts of support that often go unseen.

Generosity doesn’t lose its meaning because it takes a different route.

What Matters Most to Us

At the end of the day, the question we return to isn’t:

“Are we doing this the traditional way?”

But rather:

“Are we helping? Are we giving with integrity? Are we paying attention to real need?”

For now, this is how we’ve chosen to answer that call.

And we’re at peace with it.

Continuing the Deconstruction Journey

In case you missed it, I have another blog called Exploring Faith Beyond Tradition which describes my journey of studying the topic of the  "Deconstruction" movement. 

Some Christians are deconstructing their faith beliefs, others 'religion' (rules they were taught from a young age and rituals they used to follow), and some are simply choosing to step back from organized church to seek Jesus on their own. 

Rather than continue on that blog interface, I chose to continue my journey here on this blogger template as I am more familiar with it. 

THE CONTINUED JOURNEY

In understanding my own journey which includes detaching from institutional church, I've met with challenges. Guilt is a big one. But even so, it's hard to know if what I feel is conviction of the Holy Spirit, or false guilt. What I might feel--often on a Saturday or Sunday night--could be grief, longing, impatience; wanting to know the end of the story of where my faith practices head next; wanting assurance that my children will still pursue God in their lives. 

My church-going life has seen many changes in my 60+ years and I'm trying to make sense of it. I want to know what to shed that is inauthentic. I don't want to be seen as overly-religious (as I've been told in the past). But I do want to nurture my faith as I feel it is part of me.

WHAT IS THE ANSWER?

Feeling the need to fix my off-course spiritual journey has been tantamount. I'm a fixer. I am a problem solver. Some routines feel important to me. Changing my routine this late in life brings questions. 

Church often provides a social culture--connection to others with similar values. 

My husband is half of our marriage, and he says he is done with church. My adult children could care less about church now. I get these points of view, but I don't know if I should feel upset. I try to give my feelings, my husband, my children to God to deal with. 

Though many deconstructionists leave the church, that doesn't mean they lose their sense of desiring to connect with God or others of the same faith. We all know iron sharpens iron. We seek comfort from others at times. 

My parents were my models. Their church was their community. What happens if you lose your community especially as a senior?

Where do we find support when we need it? When you leave the church--the people of the same faith as you--how do you fill the gap? Do you need to fill the gap? 

EVERYTHING IS CHANGING

When my dad passed away, the church he had attended provided a lunch after the funeral. And so many attended.  It was a blessing. I recall saying, I needed to find a church that will make sandwiches for a funeral when or if needed. 

But nowadays, church attendance is dwindling. The number of older people who made sandwiches and so on, is dwindling too. Many people are having family members cremated and holding graveside gatherings or no gathering at all. The pandemic ushered in many changes. Everything is different. 

And what became tiresome for my husband and myself is copycat churches all doing the same thing in the same formats. I guess that's something that hasn't changed fast enough.  

So part of my journey has included coming to terms with change and also lack of change.

RULES

I had an epiphany the other day. I wrote this on my BlueSky account

 

I told a store clerk my grocery points weren't showing up in my account. I'd already troubleshooted online, so when I checked out, I asked the clerk to ensure my points card went through. She told me it hadn't. And she had no way to manually input them. That felt frustrating. I expected her to know how to fix the issue. 

Instead, she described what SHE thought the issue was--assuming it was something I was doing incorrectly. She wasn't hearing me. She carried on with her theory until I looked her in the eye and blurted out, "I disagree with you" and stepped back to pack up my cart. But she kept talking. And I chose to ignore her.  

I left the store feeling annoyed but heard a voice in my head saying, "you did good. You spoke up for yourself. Don't be self-condemning. Legalistic rules and false guilt have held you hostage too long!"

And when I got home, I wrote the above post and pondered these thoughts:

• What other Rules of being a good Christian are keeping me hostage? 
  
  
• Who else is in my head bossing me around?
  
  
• What attitude is it time to change? 
  
  
• Who do I need to stop listening to? (online advice givers, perhaps.) 

Simply put, a deconstruction journey can take several forms. So can a reconstruction journey. 

If you're on one, pay attention to what you're thinking. Be kind to yourself. Resist self-judgment.